Monday, July 24, 2006

Forty Things About Me

Yep, it's not original. I got the idea from Suburban Lesbian to whom I offer my sincerest thanks. It was really fun answering the questions.

1. My uncle once: got blackmailed for many years by a former officer in the British Military, because the blackmailer found out that my uncle was gay, and he would have lost his officer's commission unless he'd paid the money.
2. Never in my life: have I ever played with a tarantula (and it never will happen, so don't let's hold our breath!)
3. When I was five: I went to my first day in First Grade and forgot to wear underpants. It was only discovered when I peed myself and my teacher found out that my undies were a no-show.
4. High School was: torture.
5. I will never forget: the night I came out, on the dance floor of the "women's dance" in Bradford, West Yorkshire, with my then best friend, Janet.
6. I once met: Elana Dykewoman.
7. There's this girl I know who: snapped my heart in two.
8. Once, at a bar: I watched my mother get hit on by a lesbian, giggle, and confess to me that she'd enjoyed the attention.
9. By noon, I'm usually: heading into work. (Most therapists work afternoons and evenings.)
10. Last night: I went out to dinner at "Not Your Average Joe's" with my best friend, her daughter, my daughter and my granddaughter. I was in a foul mood, which is highly unusual. I'm glad I went.
11. If I only had: more years to live.
12. Next time I go to church: it will be an absolute miracle (or else the Boston Gay Men's Chorus will be singing!)
13. Terry Shiavo: terribly, terribly sad.
14. What worries me most: is that my daughter won't learn how to manage her money better, will end up passing bad checks, do a stint in the big house and get deported.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: a beautiful torchiere Tiffany Lamp.
16. When I turn my head right, I see: a framed photograph, which I bought in Provincetown twenty years ago, of Marian Roth's "Underwater" vision of two naked women, with erect nipples, hanging out underwater.
17. You know I'm lying when: I can't look you in the eyes.
18. What I miss most about the eighties: is not having wrinkles.
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I'd be: daintily flitting from tree to tree in Midsummer Nights Dream.
20. By this time next year: I'll be picking lettuces from my organic vegetable garden in the farm Mr. Lesbian and I are in the process of buying in Western Mass.(The vegetable garden is already established!)
21. A better name for me would be: impossible to imagine.
22. I have a hard time understanding: cruelty.
23. If I ever go back to school I'll : slit my wrists.
24. You know I like you if: I tell you.(Nobody ever has to guess!)
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: my best friend.
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: three winners and a loser (although it wasn't her fault).
27. Take my advice, never: take my advice.
28. My ideal breakfast is: a New York Bagel, with hand sliced Lox, low fat cream cheese, thinly sliced red onions, capers and lemon wedges with a huge pot of very strong coffee and light cream.
29. A song I love, but do not own is:Bolero, by Ravel.
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: taking an umbrella and making sure you get a chance to eat Lava Bread with Cockles and Bacon. (It's Swansea, South Wales, UK).
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are flowers that I really like, things that I'm impatient with, tiny things I don't understand and people I'll never hang out with.
32. Why won't people: clamor to have sex with me.
33. If you spend the night at my house: you will be able to sleep in my beautiful study, and be fussed over so much you won't want to leave.
34. I'd stop my wedding for: Lynnie S.M. from Chelsea, NYC, if she showed up.
35. The world could do without: more republicans.
36. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: give another blow job.
37. My favorite blonde is: Cristina Aquilera
38. Paper clips are more useful than: having no paper clips.
39. If I do anything well, it's: hoard paper clips.
40. And by the way: I'm still in lust with my previous girlfriend.

2 Comments:

Blogger WordsRock said...

Great list! Your answer to number 32 cracked me up. :)

7:01 PM  
Blogger Sapphique said...

Glad you liked it! I aim to please (and way too much, might I add.)

9:14 PM  

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