Sunday, August 23, 2009

I'm a gay divorcee!

My divorce came through in the first week of August 09 and I'm finally single. A bittersweet moment, but primarily a huge relief. Mr. Lesbian continues to live in hope that we will reunite, despite the fact that I've been living in my own apartment for a year come September 15th and have clearly moved on with my life. This is the longest I've ever been single - yep, in my life. And it's the first time I've lived alone for a very long time too, and I'm really enjoying it. I've discovered that I need way more solitude than I thought - and I spend a lot of time checking my caller ID and screening calls. My life has stabilized here, and I have good and solid friends, people who care about me and my practice is doing well. Mr Lesbian put the house on the market this summer and it has just sold - for exactly what we paid for it. So we lost a lot of money - but it's still a relief. If I cared too much about money I would be crying now. But I don't. I value my freedom, my serenity and sanity way more. Mr. Lesbian says that hir inheritance is close to coming through, and I don't care about that either. Financial ties to hir are dangerous, so I'm content to earn what I earn, and pay my rent regularly. Financially things were always a roller coaster living with hir, so to know that I can make my bills on time, and still save, feels like a good thing. One of the hardest things was the loss of my puppy. I left him with Mr. Lesbian when I left the marriage - I knew that if I took the dog with me there would be constant requests for doggy visitation, and excuses to drop in and see the dog. So I let my puppy go. I miss him. But it was worth the sacrifice.

I think I'm going to have to have a My Big Fat Gay Divorce Party someday soon.